Tag Archives: Dostoevski


Dear Steve–
My sister is a beautiful woman but she has a tendancy to chew men up and spit them out. When that’s not happening, she picks guys who might as well be the dredges at the bottom of the barrel, dressed up in a decent smile and faux boyish charm. Needless to say, when their whimpy handshake isn’t giving away their true character, it becomes clear that they’re assholes. Tell me, why does this happen? You’d think that a beautiful woman would attract the cream of the crop, right? And, if my sister is a man chewer-upper, why are men attracted to her (because I can safely say that you can more or less tell)?
Tell me, why?
Julie in Santa Fe

Let me answer your last question first. There are a lot of men that prefer mean girls to nice girls. And a mean girl who is also beautiful can be downright irresistable. Why do some guys like mean girls? For many of the same reasons that some women like mean guys. Some people find cruelty sexy (like masochists and Dallas Cowboy fans). Some people have low self-esteem and are unable to connect with anyone who doesn’t share their low opinion of themselves.

You say that when your sister isn’t spitting guys out, she is dating losers. So, I am assuming that the guys she spits out are the good ones. Maybe she spits out the good ones because she is intimidated, or threatened by them. Continue reading


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