Four Star Flake

Today, we’re going to try something a little different – we’re going to provide a Personality Test. Below, you’ll find a letter I received from a semi-typical Santa Fe woman. Please read this letter. Some of you will find it difficult to follow. For others, it will make perfect sense. After you’ve finished reading the letter, ask yourself the following question: “Does this letter express my personal point of view?”

Greetings Duncan,
I have lived in Santa Fe long enough to have learned that there are energetics that should be considered, as well as the usual psychological explanations. When a behavior pattern – say a moribund dating and relationship scene in Santa Fe – can recognize a possible dysfunction and its cause, there is hope of growth and recovery. I say this because I read your column regularly (unless out of the country) and realize that there are a lot of people out there who need to hook up with each other. Myself included! So what is the difficulty? The psychology aspect of discussing the dating problem has been presented with your efforts (and I do catch your humor!) but alas; there still is a block.

This brings me to my epiphany. A psychologist that I worked with gave me an insight into energetics. A place or an institution often takes on the energy of the founders of that place or institution. Much like people with dysfunctional parents, the child has to work hard to overcome that early conditioning. Let’s say, an institution is based on greed and dominance – then that institution will always struggle with that specter.

Then I thought, well, what were the energetics of Santa Fe in the16th century? May I venture to say that, along with the good of founding a Holy City of Faith, there was also a repressive, post-inquisition Catholic missionary aspect to the culture and population. Are we still seeing that energetic in sexual over-indulgence or abstinence? Isn’t there more harmony and grace in a middle path? Is Santa Fe walking its talk about enlightened behavior or are we just talking and hiding at work and home? I meet men and women all the time who are just a little weird, which is a positive in my mind. Has spirit tossed me a cookie or a boner on this epiphany?

Maybe you should offer an open healing session at the next Reporter party. I can see it! Open patio, beautiful sky followed with sunset and stars… Envision Midsummer Night’s Dream! The desert will never be the same!
Connie

Thanks for participating in our little experiment. If you answered, “no, this letter does not express my point of view,” then you are like me (and thousands of other people) who do not smoke crack. If you answered, “Yes, this letter expresses my point of view,” then you should know that you are a Four-Star Flake. You will never have a relationship with an intelligent human being (unless you are totally hot and the aforementioned intelligent human being is exploiting you for sexual purposes). You may find another Four-Star Flake with whom you can build a relationship, but that could be incredibly dangerous for the rest of the world, because you might reproduce, thus creating an Eight-Star Flake (and God only knows the consequences of that unholy birth).
Finally, if you agreed with this letter, please take a copy of this column to your nearest psychiatrist (not a psychologist or homeopathic healer, because you’re probably going to need thorazine or some other hard-core anti-psychotic). Give this letter to the psychiatrist, tell him that it reflects your state of mind, then lie down and try not to struggle when they strap you to your gurney.

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