The Tao of Love Dating Game

Two months ago, I started the Tao of Love Dating Game. Our first contestant was Marsha – an uber-hottie who works in the Governor’s office (you should see her in shorts… ouch). Anyway, only ten guys responded to the opportunity to date Marsha. I was shocked and disappointed. Many women I spoke to had the same theory about this – “men in Santa Fe are just too passive, if you chose a guy [as Bachelor of the Month], you’d get hundreds of letters from women.”
Last week, I did choose a guy. And guess what – ZERO RESPONSES. Okay, he said he wanted a woman who looked good naked, but it was a joke! And yes, he said he liked blowing things up, but that was also a joke. A careful reader would have noticed he wanted a woman with a “sense of irony.” I think that’s the problem. I know that Santa Fe is full of women who look good naked, but I’m not sure there are many with a sense of irony, let alone a sense of humor. Has political correctness eliminated comedy altogether?
I wonder what what he should have written… “looking for a woman who wants to explore life’s adventure together,” or “looking for a woman who shares my love of cats,” or maybe “looking for a woman who doesn’t like to make jokes about blowing things up.”
Perhaps Santa Fe is full of light-hearted women who can take a joke. So, why the lack of responses? Could it be that women in Santa Fe are even more passive than men? I think so. I continue to be amazed by how many women don’t pursue men (aside from lesbians). One of the brightest, hottest women I know told me something incredible recently – she said she has to choose from among the men who pursue her. Can you believe it? She’s smart enough to know that men have worse judgement than women, yet she’s giving men control, rather than taking control herself. What’s up with that?
Now, for some letters…

Dear Duncan,
I’m writing to tell you and your readers that you CAN, I repeat, CAN find Love in Santa Fe. A friend of mine asked me (well, actually begged me) to go to the singles party back in February that was hosted by the SF Reporter. I didn’t really want to go, in fact I may have even said something along the lines of “only freaks and geeks go to these things!!” But somehow she convinced me that we would have a “terrific” time, and off we went. Well, to my surprise we did have a terrific time, I couldn’t believe how much fun it was — and the Soul Decons rocked the house!! During the evening (after collecting more than my share of FREE condoms) I just happened to meet the most incredible guy. We danced and danced and danced! It was fabulous!
Now, two months later we are still dating, still dancing, and still having a fabulous time together. I don’t think meeting people in Santa Fe is all that difficult, but what I believe is difficult, is meeting someone you totally click with, someone special enough to fall in love with. But it can happen, and it has. My advice to everyone is to keep an open mind, a good attitude, and for goodness sakes try new things!! Go ahead and go to that “freaks and geeks” party, you just never know who you might meet.
-Love’N Santa Fe!

Truly, there’s nothing more attractive than a girl with a handful of condoms.

Dear Steve,
I just moved to the City Different after graduating from college this summer, and while I’ve quickly developed a taste for posole, sopapillas, and green chile, I haven’t become completely accomodated to Santa Fe. The problem I have in mind is appropriate to your column, but rather lower-level than your usual grist – to wit, how does one meet people around here? The volunteer opportunities I’ve tried have yielded quite a few high school students and retirees, but I’m 22 and, as I said, fresh out of school. Is there anything around for us late Gen-X and early Gen-Y kids?

Frankly, I’m too old to know. However, I think it’s very sad that volunteer work has become all about helping people and not about scoring with twentysomething babes


1 Comment

Filed under Advice, Dating, Love, Sex

One response to “The Tao of Love Dating Game

  1. Ya know Duncan – I’d like to hear more on the whole women not taking control thing and having to choose from the men that pursue them. I certainly consider myself an intelligent woman – – – and I find myself doing the same thing – thank goodness for a lot of options. However, I feel that culturally men are turned off by aggressive women who pursue them.

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