Dear Confused

There’s this guy that I really like. We don’t meet much, but we work together. When i’m there, I lose all of my confidence, and i’m so quiet! It’s incredibly hard for me to say stuff, because I think I’m just going to screw everything up 😦 I get a horrible feeling in my stomach that whatever I say, I’ll just look stupid. People have told him I like him, many times. They know him through school and mutual friends and things like that. I wasn’t there when he found out. He hasn’t said anything. I just want to be more confident around him and get him to like me? Thank you

Signed, Confused.

Okay, I am going to try to say this as nicely as I can… give up.  Don’t try.  I get the feeling that you are comfortable talking to other guys, but not this guy.  Why?  Because clearly, you are the kind of girl who likes guys who don’t like girls like you.  Your friends already told him he likes you, and if he has had more than twenty four hours to process that information and has not acted, he is not interested.

One evening, after a few cocktails, he may remember the girl who liked him so much she told her friends to tell him she likes him (really, are you twelve), and he may call you for a late night booty call, but nothing more. 

Run as fast as you can and look into a mirror and ask yourself “why do I act like a twelve year old, why don’t I want an adult relationship, why would I tell other people I like a guy before telling the guy himself, why am I wearing these ear-rings with this blouse?”

If you have any self-respect, ask people to stop telling him how much you like him.  Also, go talk to him.  Really talk to him.  Find out if you are in love with a great guy or a great face.  Ask about his family, his politics, his philosophical beliefs, and his religious beliefs.  Get to know him.  Get past the sick feeling in your stomach.  If you still like him after that, tell him you are willing to have sex with him anytime.  I know it sounds forward, but letting people tell him many times that you like him is pretty much the same thing, only less direct (and less interesting).

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